6th
It’s Not the Guns. It’s YOU.
The government of the United States of America has all the guns it needs. I should know. My old man worked in the Pentagon.
For every one office in that enormous building dedicated to actively defending our country, there are two offices dedicated to contract procurement and weapons development. Lockheed Martin is in a penis measuring contest with Boeing over who gets to develop the next generation of cluster bomb. Colt is psyched that they still have the contract for the M-16, but is still a little angry that Beretta got the contract for side arms, and is also worried that Heckler and Koch will come up with a better assault rifle. It’s drama that rivals “Gossip Girl.” Right now arms developers all over the country and all over the world are trying to come up with things that will kill you in new and creative ways, and America pays top dollar for those products. MORE than top dollar, actually. In fact, there are companies that make millions in contracts even after they FAIL to deliver usable stuff to Uncle Sam. Got that, Timothy? Our national erection for weaponry is so blue veined that we even pay for the guys that are utter failures. It would be impossible for any other nation to support weapons any more than the United States has. Hell, the Soviet Union went belly up because they couldn’t keep up. The Pentagon is a beehive of industry, with that industry being coming up with new and improved ways of taking those who mess with us and separating them from their lives.
With all that in mind, why would the United States Government give a dry fart in a hurricane about your piddly little Smith and Wesson .38 caliber revolver? They can obliterate your entire block from 50,000 feet up. Do you really think the owners and operators of the F-22 Raptor just won’t be able to sleep until they can get their hands on your Glock? Why would they when they have armories full of them?
There is an old saying among gun enthusiasts, and it goes like this: “Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.”
I agree completely. And that’s why the government isn’t interested in guns in general as much as it is interested in NUTJOBS in particular. I know many people who have guns. My mom has a deer rifle. My brother has a rifle, a shotgun and a handgun. I have friends with even more guns than that. I mean, we’re talking SERIOUS gun collections. And not once have any of them ended up on a watch list. Not once have any of them had troops kick open their doors to confiscate their guns. Not once have they been harassed, bothered or even contacted by any government representatives about the number of firearms that they own or the fact that they even own them. And the reason that this is the case is because none of them engage in paranoid, delusional and public ranting about how the government IS COMING FOR THEIR GUNS.
That might just be a lesson to be learned, you think?
There was this guy in Pittsburgh named Richard Poplawski. He’s in jail now. That’s what you can expect if you A: shoot three cops and B: are lucky enough to be alive after doing so. The cops came to Mr. Poplawski’s door not because they were interested in his extensive collection of weapons, but because he got into a fight with his mother and his mother called the police.
Mr. Poplawski was, according to all accounts, laboring under the delusion that since Obama was elected, it was only a matter of time before they (all together now) CAME FOR HIS GUNS. Helping to reinforce that notion was pretty much every press release put out by the NRA since Obama got elected, as well as all the white supremacist garbage that he swallowed every day. Ditto the right wing radio shows and message boards, on which our national daily descent into fascism and socialism and rampant flag burning is so lovingly described by people who have figured out that there is a bunch of money in keeping stupid people terrified. (Almost as much as there is in guns.) So when Mr. Poplawski wasn’t visiting destruction upon tin cans at the range or dry- humping his arsenal, he was having his paranoia reinforced on a minute by minute basis.
So when his mom told him that the cops were coming, it was Mr. Poplawski’s worst nightmare come true. No, wait. It probably wasn’t. It was probably his greatest dream.
Because FINALLY, he was going to be able to DEFEND HIS RIGHTS! FINALLY, he was going to show these liberal, Jewish puppets what the penalty would be if Obama (all together now, this time in three part harmony) CAME FOR HIS GUNS. I can’t help but think that’s exactly what he wanted.
Never mind the fact that the cops weren’t COMING FOR HIS GUNS, or even knew that he had any. You see, they didn’t check the magical, all encompassing Jewish Liberal United Nations database (which they keep in FRANCE, no doubt) that tells all the cops exactly where all the guns are, who owns them, and how often they are fired. They rather correctly thought it was yet another redneck, Ronnie Dobbs style domestic dispute. So you see, it was all just a crazy mix up! Almost like an episode of “Three’s Company!” Boy, I bet Mr. Poplawski feels pretty stupid.
Look, anytime the cops or the feds COME FOR SOMEONES GUNS, it has nothing to do with the guns themselves and everything to do with the person who happens to own them. You wouldn’t know that if you happened to talk to a few people on the right. To this day there a lot of folks who have somehow turned David Koresh into a martyr. The ATF raided his compound, and yes, it went terribly, terribly wrong, but had he not had a previous criminal record, and had he not been a member of an end-time preaching, polygamous, child molesting cult, he probably would have been able to fire away at tin cans until his heart was content. (He was in TEXAS, after all.) But the NRA still calls Janet Reno a killer over that. Never mind the child molesting yahoo who didn’t have the brains to come out with his hands up and let his lawyers do the talking. It’s all the fault of the GOVERNMENT wanting to TAKE YOUR GUNS.
Newsflash, Cleetus. It’s not the GUNS anybody is worried about. It’s the paranoid nutjobs who actually BELIEVE that the government gives a damn about them for anything other than votes and taxes. It’s the dead end, gullible, hang a flag over it and they’ll believe it DULLARDS who do incredibly stupid things as the result of that paranoia. In the category of “self-fulfilling prophecies,” you can’t beat someone who gets so paranoid that the government will take his guns that he starts behaving in a way that FORCES the government to actually DO IT.
“This is an outrage! All I did was join a group dedicated to overthrowing that Marxist, Stalinist Pig Obama and move into a survivalist compound where we did target practice on mannequins with OBAMA painted on them when we werent printing up our weekly ‘Obama Zionist Alert’ newsletter, and then the next thing you know, we were all arrested! What the hell!”
Again, they DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR GUNS. They care about what you do with them. There is a big difference. Please try to remember that once you take a break from nine hours of AM radio paranoia and go out for maneuvers with the West Arkansas Patriot Freedom and Liberty Brigade.
