31st
Fornicators of Virginia, Unite!
As a mostly lifelong resident of Virginia, I can’t tell you the number of times I have had to defend my own state. I defend it to people who live in D.C. (“The suburbs are so boring,” says the guy who moved to the District eighteen months ago from Moose Testicles, Minnesota.) I defend it to people who live further down south. (“Virginia ain’t the south,” says a guy from the Carolinas.) I defend it to people who live in the North and West. (“Virginia? That’s like, I don’t know, all redneck and shit, right?” asks the bong maker from Santa Cruz.) Hell, I even have to defend northern Virginia to people in southern Virginia, and vice versa. “No, we aren’t all communist faggots up here in Arlington, and no, they aren’t all mule screwing hillbillies down in Lexington.”
It’s hard enough defending this state as it is. But it’s going to be damn near impossible if we elect a governor who used the word “fornicators” in his master’s thesis.
According to the Washington Post:
Robert F. McDonnell submitted a master’s thesis to the evangelical school he was attending in Virginia Beach in which he described working women and feminists as “detrimental” to the family. He said government policy should favor married couples over “cohabitators, homosexuals or fornicators.” He described as “illogical” a 1972 Supreme Court decision legalizing the use of contraception by unmarried couples.
This thesis was written in 1989, by the way, even though it sounds like something that was read aloud in Salem just before they set Biddy Junkins on fire for consorting with evil spirits. And McDonnell was not some starry eyed twenty two year old when he wrote it. He was in his mid-thirties.
McDonnell is claiming that this thesis was simply an “academic exercise,” but remember that he was going to Pat Roberton’s Regent “University.” I sincerely doubt there are academic exercises of any sort going on in that nut hatchery.
As an unapologetic “fornicator,” I really have a problem with this dude occupying the governor’s mansion. I’m sure that all of my “cohabitating” and “homosexual” friends would as well. As would all of my women friends who happen to be, you know, working for a living.
I am start to finish sick of these Jerry Falwell/Pat Robertson/Liberty University/Regent University Stone Age children of the corn, and I don’t want them anywhere near the mechanisms of government. If you are a Virginian and care at all about this state, please vote in November and help crush this backwards, superstitious bozo.
