17th
When in Tokyo…
I don’t believe that I’m even talking about this. Seriously. I don’t believe that all the assholes with radio shows and all of their paranoid mouth-breathing followers have turned something as simple as foreign protocol into a symbol of Obama’s masculinity.
Jesus Christ on a bike, Cleetus, would you rather that he walked in with a cowboy hat on and grabbed his testicles? Maybe if he marched in like a professional wrestler with Toby Keith playing in the background? Would that have been manly enough for you? Would that have showed everybody that we “meant business?”
Nixon bowed to the Japanese Emperor. Do any of you want to question the size of his balls? Hell, Eisenhower bowed to freaking Charles DeGaulle, the Pope, the wife of the Italian Prime Minister, and the head of the American Greek Orthodox Church. And this was after he liberated Europe, and had really earned the right to not have to bow to anybody. But he did anyway. And it wasn’t because he was “kowtowing.” It was because he went to West Point, where they teach you not to be a Grade A fuckwit.
See, I don’t know if you remember this or not, but the last time an American President marched into a roomful of dignitaries like J.R. Ewing on a bender, it didn’t go over so well. And while we’re on the subject of ”Making America Look Like Somebody’s Bitch,” I’d much rather see a President of the United States bow to a Saudi King than see one kiss said King on the mouth and then walk around holding hands with one of his sons. But see, either way, sometimes when you meet royalty or foreign heads of state on their own turf, you follow protocol. It doesnt matter if that protocol involves bowing, hugging, high fives or the fish-slapping dance. That goes double if that foreign head of state happens to be leasing you your own economic balls.
Considering how many Hondas and Toyotas we drive, and considering how many hours a day we spend sitting on our asses watching Larry the Cable Guy on our Sony flat screens, or how much money we spend on Playstation 3’s, or how many of our meals are nuked in microwaves manufactured in Japan, I personally believe that bowing to the Emperor of the country that was responsible for producing those things is hunky dory. You might want to remember that the next time you pop your “Lee Greenwood Live” DVD into your Toshiba.
It should also be mentioned that we have quite a few military bases on Japanese soil, and not all of the Japanese are as psyched about this as you would like to think. So if you bundle up trade and military necessity, you better believe that a good, deep bow is the appropriate greeting. So get over it, and consider growing the hell up while you are at it.
