11th
Cavemen Take a Bus to the Smithsonian
There was a great article in the Post today about a group from my favorite college, Liberty University, which came up to the Smithsonian to tell those blaspheming amateurs a thing or two about REAL science.
The class is called “Advanced Creation Studies,” and according to the article, it’s a 300 level course.
The professor of this class has a real problem with the Smithsonian’s methodology, which he argues is based too much on Darwinian theory, and is therefore “unbalanced.”
In other words, these guys at the Smithsonian are simply taking it for granted that the earth is millions and millions of years old, and that life as we know it was something that evolved over these millions of years, as forms of life that were able to adapt physical and behavioral characteristics that were more suited to the changing environment over the eons had a better chance of survival, while others who were unable to do so simply died out.
The folks at Liberty find that unfair. They want to know why their theory, the one in the book of Genesis that states that God created the tiger and the stegasourus on one day and Adam on the next, isn’t properly represented here at what is supposed to be one of the most respected scientific institutions in the world.
Well, Professor, I can hazard a guess.
If you look around the Smithsonian, you will notice that also missing from the areas of research is a Flat Earth Studies Department, a department that studies the shoulder strength of Atlas, or a department that studies what sort of mood Zeus is in when thunder clouds gather.
Zoologists here are concerned with ACTUAL turtles, but not the one that is, according to some beliefs, balancing the earth on the back of his shell.
There is also no Department of Human Sacrifices, Department of Witch Detection, or Department of Alchemy.
Nor will you find the Department of Voodoo, the Department of Thor’s Hammer, the Department of Santa Claus, or the Department of the Tooth Fairy.
The reason that you will find none of these departments is because all of the above mentioned things are BULLSHIT. Just like your university.
Creationism, as described in the Bible, has been debunked by 99.9999999999 percent of all the scientists that matter, and even by 99.99999999999999 percent of all the scientists that don’t. You and all of your students are the scientific equivalent of Hiroo Onoda, a Japanese soldier who spent 27 years killing farmers and running around the jungle in the Philippines because he didn’t believe, despite all evidence to the contrary, that the freaking WAR WAS OVER.
Not even the VATICAN believes that creationism is true. Pope Pius XII got the ball rolling in his Humani Generis encyclical back in the 1950’s, in which he said:
“..For these reasons the Teaching Authority of the Church does not forbid that, in conformity with the present state of human sciences and sacred theology, research and discussions, on the part of men experienced in both fields, take place with regard to the doctrine of evolution, in as far as it inquires into the origin of the human body as coming from pre-existent and living matter…”
Pope John Paul II sealed the deal by saying the following to the Pontifical Academy of Sciences in 1996:
“In his encyclical Humani Generis (1950), my predecessor Pius XII has already affirmed that there is no conflict between evolution and the doctrine of the faith… Today, almost half a century after publication of the encyclical, new knowledge has led to the recognition of the theory of evolution as more than a hypothesis. It is indeed remarkable that this theory has been progressively accepted by researchers, following a series of discoveries in various fields of knowledge. The convergence, neither sought nor fabricated, of the results of work that was conducted independently is in itself a significant argument in favor of the theory.”
If the VATICAN, who believe that fiddling with your naughty parts without their say so is a one way ticket to hell, can somehow get it together to accept evolution, what on earth is keeping you from doing the same? Is it because you guys don’t have it in you to handle it if it turns out that all the stuff in your Bible turns out to be a metaphor? Or a literary explanation for things that the authors at the time were incapable of understanding, like thunder is Zeus throwing a hissy fit or winter is Persephone having to spend six months with Hades?
Whatever your reasons for this utter denial of all things real and rational, the end results are embarrassing. And they are also a little hypocritical. You all have benefited from antibiotics and other medications that wouldn’t exist if it werent for the springboard of evolutionary biology. You drove up here in a vehicle that is powered by the refined and distilled remains of definitive, concrete proof that life existed tens of thousands of years ago instead of just thousands of years ago. You shamelessly take advantage of all the advancements that science based on Darwinian theory have brought us, yet you cling to an origin theory that is essentially no different than the one probably held by THESE GUYS.
Let me put this to you this way, Professor: The odds of the earth being 7,000 years old? The odds of humans created in a day and all descended from Adam? The odds of dinosaurs and humans existing on the planet at the same time? The odds of the Grand Canyon being the proof of the great flood that killed everyone but Noah and the inhabitants of his Ark?
Those odds are about the same as someone with a biology degree from Liberty University being able to find a job.
