16th
Proof That There are No Young People in the Republican Party
So today was tax day, and MILLIONS upon MILLIONS of…oh…uh…wait…ok, thousands of…uh…wait a second….ok, sorry, hundreds…can we say hundreds? Were there at least hundreds? There were? In some places?
Ok, good.
So, in some places in America, hundreds of angry conservatives got together to hold what they were calling “Tea Parties,” in which these folks would express their disproval of our oppressive tax policy by throwing tea bags into the nearest available water source. Some of these people are calling themselves “teabaggers,” which I think is awesome.
Did any of these outraged conservatives run the plan by any of their teenagers? Surely somebody must have briefed them on the quasi-underground definition of “teabagging.” But they were apparently oblivious, which was bad if you were a fan of the protest and great if you are a fan of unintentional comedy, which I am, so, you know, huzzah for me.
If these folks are oblivious to what teabagging is, one can only wonder what other unintentional double entendres they could use.
“We here in Arkansas are FED UP with these oppressive tax policies, and we think as a country we need to find a way to reach around them. We will therefore hold ‘reach around parties’ all over the United States!”
“Our tax dollars are being thrown down a big, glorious hole. It’s time to get serious, folks, and have ‘glory-hole’ protests everywhere!”
Maybe the turnout would have been better if they put vague advertising in gay bars.
Anyway, if you can get past the name, one of the main things that they are protesting is taxes. Nothing seems to enrage conservatives more than having to actually help pay for the country that they love so much. But since Obama hasn’t actually raised taxes (except on cigarettes,) I’m wondering what all the hubbub is about.
Among my conservative friends (each of whom, by the way, knew damn well what “teabagging” was,) there is complaining about taxes, but it hasn’t increased in volume. It’s just the standard lament about their current tax rate. If that tax rate went up you can believe that I would hear about it.
So nothing has really changed. Why all the “teabagging?”
Oh, Ok, I just checked. According to Karl Rove (who was so worked up that he dropped the raw deer flesh he was chewing on and began to flap his gigantic, leathery wings:)
“So far, Mr. Obama has decided to let the Bush tax cuts expire in 2011 and avoid forcing Democrats to take a tough vote. But the tea parties reveal how hard it will be for the president to hide the Democrats’ tax-and-spend tendencies from voters.”
I’m pretty sure that if the Bush tax cuts go by the wayside, that won’t affect me. I would have liked a tax cut, but I never made enough money to qualify for one. And if that doesn’t tell you everything that you need to know about the economic policies of George Bush then I don’t know what will.
You know, they love to quote Reagan and swear up and down that “trickle down economics” works, but I have never seen any evidence that that sort of thing does anything other than make maybe 30,000 already stinking rich guys even more stinking rich. Conservatives swear that if you just ease the tax burden on the people with money already falling out of every orifice in their bodies, then those people will “start businesses” and “create jobs.”
No they won’t. They never have, they never do, and they never will.
They buy houses for their children and use them as tax write offs, and of course, they invest. They invest in things like Enron, and mortgage backed securities, or they get in on what that Madoff guy was doing. And it works fine for them for awhile, and then everything falls to crap and they take a little bit of a hit, but not really. But the little people all get laid off, and the savings that they have managed to scrape together turns to dust.
So, yeah, boo-hoo, Karl. I’m really sorry if you might have to pay one tenth of one percent more in taxes. It must really cut into your budget for the blood of virgins. But what none of you greed soaked yahoos are considering is that there are millions of people in this country whom tax cuts would not affect in the slightest, mainly because they don’t make enough money to qualify for them, but also because THEY DON’T HAVE ANY FUCKING JOBS. You know, because of that “de-regulation” frenzy you guys got going, all while invoking God and Jesus and families and the troops in Iraq.
Enjoy the teabag party guys. Maybe next year you’ll have a better turnout, and maybe there will be thousands of converted suckers (or teabaggers,) just praying that the people who fired them will be relieved of their crushing tax burdens.
